The Past is The Past
by NerdsTastic
Summary: Akito has had Tohru's memory erased. Everybody thinks she's gone forever. Especially Kyo. But what happens when a few years have passed and Tohru is yet again thrown into the picture? Only this time, Tohru has a surprise of her own. Will Kyo back off and leave what seems to be a perfect life for Tohru alone, or will he fight for the only girl he's ever loved.
1. The Past is The Past

**Summary:** Akito has had Tohru's memory erased. Everybody thinks she's gone forever. Especially Kyo. But what happens when a few years have passed and Tohru is yet again thrown into the picture? Only this time, Tohru has a surprise of her own. Will Kyo back off and leave what seems to be a perfect life for Tohru alone, or will he fight for the only girl he's ever loved and bring back old memories?

**Authors Note:** This will change POV's between Kyo and Tohru. Sometimes I may even make it just third person. Not sure yet.

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**Chapter 1: The Past is The Past**

"Kyo…Kyo-kun I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Tears streamed down Tohru's face. They were like a never ending waterfall. "Kyo-kun I'm sorry. So…so so sorry! I tried!" She screamed at me from across the room. Fear was written all over her face. Tohru…innocent Tohru who never showed she was afraid to anyone looked petrified.

All I wanted was to run across the room and hold her. To stroke her beautiful face and tell her everything would be okay. But that'd be a lie, wouldn't it? I jerked myself forward, attempting to break free of the chains that held me to the wall. Why? Why was Akito so cruel? "Tohru, stop. Stop crying Tohru. Calm down. It's okay. It's not your fault. Tohru please…" _Just try and stay calm, be nice and try to calm her down. _I thought to myself. It's the only thing you can do at this point. "Tohru, calm down." I repeated it over and over. I needed her to calm down. For me. For herself.

She was always my anchor to everything. My savior. My hope. And I was going to lose her. It was my turn to be her hope. I couldn't do anything else for her. I never had. I always depended on her. Her smile, her sweet smile. And her caring hands. Tohru…I wanted to reach out to her so bad.

"Kyo I'm sorry! I tried so hard! Miss. Isuzu too! Please make sure nothing happens to her, Kyo-kun! Please! I wanted to break the curse…I wanted…" she choked for a split second, then coughed a horrid cough. "For you Kyo…FOR YOU. And for Yuki-san! And Momiji…Kisa Onee-chan…Hiro…" She coughed again. A horrid retched cough. "Hatsu…Shigure…everyone." Tears, never ending tears streamed down her dirt streaked face. She looked up at me finally, and I cought, if even for just a moment, a small look of hope. "For you Kyo…I love you, Kyo!"

That was it. I couldn't be strong for her anymore. I broke. And the tears hit me like nothing ever has before. "Tohru…Tohru, I lo-"

The door opened with immense force. Akito. He entered with a grin on his face. "Come, don't dwindle behind Hatori," He didn't look at me or Tohru as he entered the room behind Akito. His gaze was rested on the floor. Akito looked over at me, that forever lasting grin on his face. "My, my. Is this a love confessions I hear?" He was in front of me faster then I could even think.

I felt his fingers grab a hold of my chin. He tried to pull my face up, but I refused and pushed down. "Disgusting monster," One rough hard jerk and I was looking Akito in the eyes. "Do you really think someone would ever love you? A monster? It's sad, Kyo. Seeing how you got your hopes up. Seeing how this girl made you believe she truly loved you. You; A disgusting monster. The boy who killed his own mother."

"NO!" Tohru's voice was shrill, almost inaudible. But Akito heard it. I saw it on his face. _Shut up, Tohru. Shut up!_ "It's not true. Don't believe him Kyo. You're not a monster. You'r-"

"Shut the hell up you ugly girl!" I knew it was coming before it happened. The stinging on my left cheek where Akito's hand met with my skin. It happened again. A few more times. I wasn't even aware anymore of the stinging, burning pain on my cheek anymore. The only thing I kept a hold of was Tohru's constant sobs of "no" over and over again. "I'm going to erase her memory, cat. And after that, you'll never be a part of the zodiac. Ever again."

I was left alone then. Akito left my side. He was across the room within seconds, standing in front of Tohru. "Tohru…" I whispered it more than saying it. I knew nothing I said was going to make anything better.

"And you, you digusting ugly girl. Making Kyo believe someone could actually love him. How dare you?" His hand came down across her face. "You're a horrible person." Again. "You've never actually had a real spot here with the Sohmas. It was all just a game I made them all play," A lie. Another smack.

"You'll lose them all one day, Akito. They'll all leave your side one day," Tohru's voice was strong; no longer shacking with fear. She wasn't choking or coughing any longer and her tears had finally stopped. She was looking up at Akito, her matted hair plastered to her face. It was as if I was looking at an entirely different Tohru. "Someone will break the curse. What're you going to do then Akito? When you have no one to boss around and abuse?" Entirely different Tohru…what was happening?

"Little girl, shut…up!" Akito foot found Tohru's abdomen. He hit hard with full force. Tohru coughed once, twice, then a third time. Blood splattered on the floor.

"TOHRU! STOP IT! HIT ME! DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT TO ME. JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!" I was standing now. Frantic: pulling against the chains that held me to the wall. I pulled. Tugged as hard as I could. I could feel the cuffs cutting into my wrists. Warm blood was slowly making its way down the sides of my hands and onto the floor.

"ENOUGH! Hatori, get over here now and make this abomination forget _everything,"_

I watched as Hatori dragged himself across the small, black room. I watched as he kneeled in front of Tohru. My Tohru. His hands slowly placed against her swollen, flushed cheeks. I could see she was crying again. Her eyes were frantic with fear. Searching back and forth between Hatori and me. She was crying out silently for help. I could feel my own tears sliding down my cheeks meeting with the blood splatters on the floor. "I'm sorry," I mouthed the words to her. Her eyes stopped on me for a second. Just a split second. And I could see it again. The small look of hope behind her scared look.

"I'm sorry, Tohru Honda." Hatori's voice was barely audible.

Her eyes went a soft grey color for a moment, there was nothing in her eyes anymore. Just a blank, empty look. "NO!" I pulled forward hard. I could feel the cuffs cutting right down to my bone. But I didn't care. "NO!" I shouted it over and over. I drowned out Akito's laugh with my sobs of no.

I stared at the only girl I ever loved. She lied on the floor, eyes now closed. And she looked…peaceful.

I awoke with a start. Sweat dripping down my face. Or was it tears? I couldn't tell. It had been three years now. Akito didn't lock me up after high school. He thought never seeing any of the zodiac ever again would be a more suitable punishment. Ha.

I sat myself upright on my small couch. Everything was different now. Kazuma still managed to keep in touch with me. But that was rare. Very rare. My life had become quiet. Grave. I never tried to make "friends" with anyone. I didn't care too.

I sighed and rubbed my face as if rubbing away the haziness from my dream. I had it often. The recollection of what happened.

Just as I was calming myself down, a huge bang from the apartment next to mine made me almost fall forward. I heard it again, and then what sounded like a female crying in pain. I sighed, and lifted myself up off my couch. It'd be mean to not see if she was okay.

I opened my door and stepped out of my apartment. "Are you oka-" My heart completely stopped. My breathing no longer seemed like it mattered. Everything in my world came to a complete stop.

"I-I'm sorry! I fell. And dropped all my stuff. Oh I'm so sorry!"

Nothing had changed. Her voice. Her eyes. Her long hair. Nothing. I couldn't help but stare at her. Was I dreaming again? Did I fall asleep on my couch yet again? It just couldn't be…could it?

"Tohru! Tohru are you okay?" A males voice. Was it mine. Did I automatically say it without even realizing it? "Tohru, honey. Be more careful!" She laughed, the same laugh I had been dieing to hear for three years.

"I'm sorry, Sage."

Sage. I saw him now. He was tall and lean. With jet black hair that hung just above his eyes. His eyes were probably as blue as a sky with no clouds. He smiled, a genuine loving smile to Tohru.

And I hated him. The moment he smiled at Tohru, I hated him. I could feel my anger boiling up inside of me. I wanted to punch him right in his perfect, pretty face.

"I'm sorry about that. I'm Sage Yamagashi. And this is Tohru Honda. She can be a bit clumsy at times," He smiled a stupid all knowing smile. As if I didn't know just how clumsy Tohru could be.

"Yes!" Tohru was standing now, smiling at me with her hand stretched forward. "It's nice to meet you. As of now, I'll be your neighbor. Please, take care of me!" I didn't shake her hand. I couldn't touch her. I don't know what would happen if I touched her. And she had…a boy friend? I hated it. I hated this. Why? Why'd she have to come back?

I stared at her for a second before I turned around and walked back into my apartment. I slammed the door shut behind me. And fell. Fell to the floor, my head in my knees. I didn't know what to do. Or how to react to this.

I didn't know. I felt like I did that day three years ago. Afraid. Not for myself. But for Tohru. Was it okay to have her back in my life?

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Authors note: So, I know this wasn't so good. But it will get better. Promise. I just had to get the first chapter going to set up everything else for my fanfic!

Please, review! I always love my reviews!


	2. New hope

**Chapter 2: New hope**

"Tohru?" I looked at the sound of my voice being called to see Sage standing there, looking at me worryingly. "Will you be alright here by yourself?"

I smiled at him warmly, trying to reassure him that I would indeed be fine. "Yes. Don't worry Sage-kun. If anything happens, I'll be sure to call you." I smiled once more before crossing the small space between us and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "Goodnight,"

As I watched Sage leave, a feeling of emptiness filled me. I inhaled deeply and headed towards my room. I was used to living alone. I had been alone ever since my mother passed away. Living in a tent till I graduated high school. Lying to Poor Uo-chan and Hanajima.

And then I met Sage. I was working at a small book store, one of my part time jobs, when he came in looking for a book. It was five minutes before close, and he apologized frantically to me. I had just laughed, and told him I'd stay till we found the book he was looking for. It didn't take long, maybe five minutes or so. And when I went to go and let him out of the store, he asked me if he could treat me to dinner for being such a pain and causing me to have to stay at work later then I'd normally have to. At first I was reluctant. Not knowing if I should go with a complete stranger or not. I was afraid mother wouldn't approve. And there was also something else. Some strange feeling I felt the moment he asked me out to dinner.

It felt as if I was betraying someone. But who, I thought to myself at the time. My mother? No. She'd be so happy for me if she could see this right now. Uo-chan and Hanajima would be happy for as well. They were always telling me when we were back in high school that I needed to find a boyfriend. Back then, I would get this same strange feeling. As if I was betraying someone.

But this time, when I looked at this man with beautiful sky blue eyes, I didn't want to say no. So, I choke back that feeling and with a smile, said yes. From that night on, Sage would come to the store at the end of every night I worked and would take me out to eat. Its been six months now since that day, and he's been perfect to me. But no matter how hard I tried to get rid of it, that betraying feeling always snuck back up on me. And because of that, Sage and I were still a little distant from one another. More then I knew he'd like to be.

I sighed heavily and headed to the kitchen to grab the trash that was full of packing paper and boxes. "Guess I'll throw this out," I grabbed a hold of the trash bag, and headed outside. "Oh, hi!" I smiled brightly at my neighbor that I had seen earlier. He looked at me, and I swallowed hard.

He looked…sad. So scared and lost. Maybe even a little hurt. His bright orange hair blew slightly to the side from the small gust of wind that went through our small complex. His crimson red eyes stared at me. It was as if he was seeing right through me. I should've found this awkward. Maybe even a little scary. But for some reason it didn't make me feel at all uncomfortable. Instead, it gave me a throbbing emptiness feeling. Just like when Sage left. The expression on his face turned from sad to realization.

"Erm…" He coughed lightly and turned his face away from me, looking off of the small balcony our apartments were on. "Kyo," He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "My name is Kyo Sohma."

"Sohma…" the word rolled off my tongue as if I was meant to say it. "Its nice to meet you," I smiled at him before throwing my garbage away into the garbage can. "I'm sorry about earlier, Kyo-kun." I bowed lightly. "I didn't mean to disturb you. Um…if there's anything I can do. At all, please…" my voice trailed off. Why was I apologizing and offering to do something for him in return? All I did was accidentally slip.

"No," He said it so quickly I winded up taking a step backwards. "No thank you, I mean." He stood there for a few seconds more just staring at me, before turning and entering back into his apartment.

The moment he was out of sight, a sob came from the back of my throat. I rushed back into my apartment and ran into my room. I let my body drop down onto my bed. I felt sick. Horribly sick to my stomach. I thought I was going to throw up but I couldn't seem to move myself from my bed. What was happening? I didn't understand. Why did I feel as if someone was tugging at my heart? Why did I feel as if I had hurt Kyo in a way that on one would be able to forgive? It didn't make sense. I didn't even know him. Why was I feeling like something huge was missing from my life?

I let the sob turn into tears. Tears of complete confusion. I let my tears fall until I fell asleep.

I awoke the next morning to someone knocking on my door. I groaned and reached my hand to my small night stand to grab a hold of my phone. I flipped it open and looked at the time. 11:45 AM. "Oh!" It was probably Sage. I flung myself off the bed and shouted 'one moment'

I rushed into the bathroom and, taking one glance at myself in the mirror, new it would be a little longer then one moment. I grabbed my brush and yanked it through my long and knotted hair. I rinsed my face off, then ran across my room to some boxes at the end of my bed. I rummaged through them quickly, and managed to find a tan skirt with a feathery belt and a white lacy tank top. I sighed. Not exactly what I was looking for, but it'd have to do. I threw my cloth on, and tossed my hair up in quick messy bun. Then rushed over to the door and flung it open, with a huge smile on face ready to great Sage.

"Good morning,"

I blinked twice before realizing it wasn't Sage. "Oh. Good morning Kyo-kun!" I had to look up when talking to Kyo, I realized. He was taller then me by a lot. And definitely taller then Sage. His red crimson eyes didn't hold a sad look this morning. Just curiosity. "Can I help you?" I said when he didn't say anything else.

"I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. My…behavior. Was…erm…" He was cut off by a loud growl that came from his stomach.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. "Kyo, have you eaten this morning?" He stared at me for a moment before saying 'no' I smiled at him. "Please, come inside. I'll make something for breakfast as a thank you for apologizing."

What was I doing? This is something I would normally never do. But, for some odd reason, it felt right inviting him in for breakfast. When I smiled at him as he walked past me into the house, it once again felt right. I thought of Sage getting mad. And yet for some unknown reason I didn't care. What was wrong with me?

It didn't take long at all to cook up some eggs and fry some bacon. While I cooked, I asked Kyo to look through a box that set on top of the counters in search of plates. He found some and quietly set them on the small table Sage had supplied for me. I served breakfast and we both ate in complete and utter silence. When we were done, I took both the plates and moved over to the sink to wash everything. I grabbed the pan I had fried the bacon in. It was heavier then I remembered when I first started making the bacon.

Accidentally, I let it tip to the side on grease fell all over the floor. "No!" I groaned at my own clumsiness. I heard a laugh behind me and turned to see Kyo laughing softly. He stopped the moment I looked him. A look of sudden seriousness crossed his face and he abrubtly stood up.

"I should get goin-"

A bang come on my front door again. "Tohru?" It was Sage.

"A-Ah…" was all I managed to get out before I took the wrong step to the left and slipped in the grease I had let spill all over the floor. I saw the side of the marble counter, and closed my eyes so tightly ready for the impact of my head hitting the counter.

That's when it happened. I felt Kyo's arms wrap around my waist and yank me to the side. It was so fast I felt my food almost come back up. Then I hit the floor with a thud, landing ontop of what felt like a small pile of cloth. I scurried to my feet as fast as I can to thank Kyo. And than I saw it. Or rather him.

An orange cat lay on my floor. The same orange of Kyo's hair color. My eyes grew wide and without hesitation or even a second thought, I scooped the cat up. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Red crimson cat eyes. "AH! OH NO! I TURNED HIM INTO A CAT! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? HOSPITAL! HOSP-"

"Tohru? Tohru are you okay? I'm coming in!" I heard the front door open, and Sage was in my kitchen just a few moments later. He took one look at me before laughing. "Tohru, what're you doing to that poor cat? He looks petrified!"

I looked down at my own hands. I was squeezing Kyo so hard I thought his eyes were going to pop out. "OH!" I gasped and pulled him close to me, almost against my chest. "Sage," I practically breathed out his name. "Ah…um…could you, er…go and buy me some cat food?" Yes! Score one for Tohru, I thought. "I found this cat while throwing out the garbage last night. He looks…er…hungry. Yes! Hungry!"

Sage laughed and complied. He left the house within seconds, saying he'd be back within the next 30 minutes.

The moment he was out the door, I pulled Kyo away from me and stared at him. "What to do?" I groaned and set him down on the floor.

I should be panicking. Completely freaking out right now. Was I insane? No. He was a cat. I paced back and forth for a few seconds, then kneeled down in front of Kyo. "I'm so sorry!" I reached my hand out to touch the top of his head, and with out knowing what was happening a giant cloud of fog appeared in front of me, and then Kyo was standing within it. "AH!" My face turned beat red and I turned on my heal, facing away from him.

"K-Kyo I'm so sorry. I don't know how it happened. I don-" Everything went black. My mind went blank. I felt sick; dizzy. I heard my name being called but I couldn't seem to reply to it.

_"Tohru, Tohru whats wrong?" My mother lay beside me in my bed. She had just told me the twelve zodiac story._

_ "The poor cat!" I was crying now. I stood out of my bed and looked up at the ceiling, tears sliding down my face. "I know! From now on I don't want to be the dog anymore; I want to be the cat!"_

_ My mother laughed, and told me lay back in bed._

"The cat…" I turned around to face Kyo. He had his pants back on, and was fighting to get his shirt back on while saying my name again. "The cat…K-Kyo Sohma…" My eyes filled up with tears. It was back. Everything. All of it.

Everything I had ever forgotten. Kyo, Yuki, Shigure. All laughing at the table. Risa one-chan, hugging me and smiling a beautiful sweet smile. Momiji, oh Momiji…the sweetest boy I had ever met. Hatsuharu, Miss Isuzu, Hatori, Hiro, Kazuma…Everyone.

Akito. The black room.

I sobbed and coughed so hard I almost fell forward. "Kyo! Kyo!" I remembered. I remembered everything. Tears poured down my cheeks. They flowed like they'd never stop. I saw him look at my, and realization hit his face.

He moved forward once, and then stopped himself so quickly I thought I was seeing things. I could see his eyes fill with tears, and then he was running. Right to my door. Faster than I've ever seen someone run.

Why…why was he running?

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**A/N: Yep, that didn't take long, did it? I felt like this was a little bit better then the first chapter. Maybe a little rushed as well. But I've got the 3rd chapter started already and its not rushed. Its gonna be good!**

**I'd appreciate it you could review. I'd like feedback! :) Thank you!  
**


	3. Remember

**Disclaimer: Just wanted to say, before I go any further with this, I obviously do not own fruits basket... :( **

**NOW...on to the story!  
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**Chapter 3: Remember **

My legs took action before my mind did. They did exactly what I was good at doing; running away.

The look on her face. Did she remember? She called my name like she did. She had to. My heart throbbed so hard that I almost tumbled over my own feet as I ran. I ran faster than I had ever run before. Why? Why was I running? I could feel tears rolling down my face. I hadn't cried since the night…the night that she had forgotten me.

I shouldn't be running. Tohru loved me, didn't she? Maybe she was crying because she didn't love me anymore, and remembering me hurt. She had that _guy_ now. Sage. Maybe remembering me was horrible. Something bad. I never should've gone to her apartment this morning. I should've just ignored her. I messed everything up. I _always _mess everything up. I'm so stupid! I'm a monster! A _monster_. A horrible disgusting monster that no one would ever love. Not even Tohru. She didn't love me anymore. _No, _I thought helplessly. _She never loved me. Ever. I was wrong. I've thought wrong all these years. And now she remembers. She remembers all those horrible memories. Me: my true form. How disgusting I truly am. She probably hates me now for causing her to remember everything. All I do is cause pain!_

My thoughts came to an abrupt stop when I realized where I was running to. Shigure's old house. But…why? Was it the feeling of old comfort. Could it possibly be because I had happy memories there? One of the only two places I managed to ever make a happy memory.

Surely Shigure didn't live at the same old house anymore anyways, right? It had been so long since I had seen any of the Sohma's. Sometimes it felt like being banned from the Sohma's was worse than being locked up in the cats room's after graduation. Once I lost everyone, I realized just how lonely life could be. Being left alone in entire world was probably more quiet and lonesome then being locked in a room until I died.

It probably would've been better for Tohru if I had been locked away in that room after graduation as well. She'd never have remembered me. She'd never have remembered anything. She could still live a normal humans life. Be happy with _that guy. _Maybe she'd even be able to have kids. Maybe. If I had never seen her again, would Tohru fall in love with someone new, and begin a new life?

I took a step forward. Was it smart to go to Shigure's home? Especially not knowing if he even still lived at the old house anymore. Running my hand through my now sweaty and matted hair, I started to walk towards Shigure's, my old, home.

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_Why did he run? I don't understand? What'd I do wrong? Oh god…what if he didn't miss me? What if me remembering is bad for him? Maybe he has a girlfriend now? What if there is a new girl who has learned about the curse now and she comforts Kyo-kun now?_

My heart was throbbing uncontrollably. No matter how long I sat on my couch and tried to calm myself down, my heart would not stop pounding against my rib cage. I felt as if my ribs were about to break from the pain I felt. My entire body shook uncontrollably as well. Again, I couldn't stop it. Tears stung at the back my eyes, but I fought them back. I wasn't going to cry. I was going to handle this without tears.

"Tohru?" Sage opened my front door and slowly came into the apartment. "I have the food for the cat,"

_Not good…_ "Oh, the cat…" I stood up off the couch the moment Sage walked into the living room. "I accidentally let him out of the apartment when I opened the door…" I was praying he'd buy my horrible story.

"Oh…well, just in case." He held up the bag of cat food. "He comes back," He smiled. Which told me he believed me. I watched as he turned around and headed into the kitchen. I assumed to put the cat food somewhere.

Great. What was I supposed to do now. I was about to just break. I was fighting so hard against the violent out breaks of the shakes, and trying to calm my heart down that I didn't notice Sage until his eyes met with mine.

I jumped back with a start, hitting my legs against the couch and then causing myself to fall backwards, hitting the couch with a nice _thump._ Laughing, Sage leaned over me, his hands on the very top of the couch. His face hung just a few inches above mine; his breath caused my bangs to tickle the top of my forehead.

And I couldn't help it, I smiled. The pounding of my heart began to slow down, as did my violent shakes. As much as I didn't want to admit it anymore now that I remembered everything, but Sage was an incredible guy. And as badly as I wanted to deny it, he could calm me down better then I'd ever been able to remember someone being able to calm me down. There was just something about his smile, and the looks in his beautiful eyes.

I inhaled deeply, and smiled back at him. He leaned his closer to me to the point of where I was able to feel his breath on my lips. He was waiting for permission like he always did. Because he knew I was always weird when it came to affection. I leaned my head up a little, and grazed his lips with mine lightly and for just a split second, then leaned myself back up against he couch. I saw the small look of disappointment in his sky blue eyes for a split second before he leaned away from, and ran his fingers through his hair.

"So, may I ask why there's a nice grease spill on the kitchen floor?"

"OH!" I was off the couch within a second making my way to the kitchen. "I accidentally almost dropped the pan after I made bacon…" I glanced back behind me in hope that Sage would just leave it at. With a great immense of joy, he did. He was used to my clumsiness by now, I knew. But right now I didn't feel like I'd be able to lie if the situation was pushed anymore. And I didn't want to have to explain Kyo being in the house.

After that, the rest of the day was a giant slow blur. I didn't really know exactly what I was doing most of the day. I remember having small conversations here and there with Sage, eating lunch, unpacking the rest of my stuff, and then ending the day with him by telling him I didn't feel good and I was going to call it a night.

Once gone, I migrated to my room, pulled back the covers on my bed and let my body drop down on the bed. I tried to not think of Kyo, and every other one of the Sohma's. But it didn't work so well. I thought of all of them and let my thoughts turn into dreams.

I don't know how long I had been sleeping before the softest knock was made on my front door. I lifted my head just a little bit, waiting to see if I was only hearing things. A few seconds went by and no noise was made. _Your hearing things Tohru, _I thought glumly. I dropped my head back down on my pillow and let my eyes close. Just as I felt like I was drifting back off to sleep, I heard my name being called.

"Tohru, are you in there?" It was Kyo's voice. Soft and…sad. I flew out of bed and across my small apartment within a matters of seconds. My hand was on the door knob before my mind even thought of doing it.

And then I froze. What was going to happen once I opened the door? Did it matter? This was Kyo on the other side of this door. Kyo…_my _Kyo. I inhaled deeply, turned the knob and pulled the door open.

Kyo stood there, his bright crimson red eyes staring at me as if this was going to be the last time he would ever see me. Then he took a step forward, cupped my face in his hands and bent down, his face coming towards mine.

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**A/N: So, I now this was slightly boring. Even though I said it was good. But...i winded up changing a lot cause I felt like what I had before was just a giant rush of stuff mushed together. **

**A special thank you to my reviewers! I greatly greatly appreciate it! Thank you! :)  
**

**Please, R&R! (: Next chapter to be up soon!  
**


	4. Mistakes

**Chapter 4: Mistakes**

Just as I thought I was going to finally know what a kiss from Kyo would be like, he jerked back. "I'm sorry…" Oh god no don't be sorry… "Tohru…do you…do you remember?"

And just like that, the tears I'd been fighting all day to not come, came. And they fell like waterfalls down my cheeks. I reached my hand out, and placed it gently down on his arm. Was I dreaming? Was I going to wake up and Kyo be gone? I squeezed his arm hard, which in return caused him to jump back with a very puzzled look on his face.

"What the hell was that for?" He questioned.

I laughed. This wasn't a dream. This was really my Kyo. "I…I'm sorry. I had to make sure I wasn't dreaming," With that said, Kyo laughed as well. "Oh Kyo…" I felt my lips form a smile, as I stared at him. He didn't look much different at all. Just a little more matured, and he had gotten taller. But other then that, not a thing was different about him. "I've missed you so much," The words slipped out, and I immediately regretted it. The look on Kyo's face was something I couldn't quit explain.

"I'm sorry…" I could see the confused look on his face as I apologized once more. I cupped his cheek in my hand for a second before throwing my arms around his neck. It didn't last long; feeling his thin lean yet muscular body against mine. But for the whole second it did last, I relished in it. I felt the familiar sensation in my arms of his transformation and then I was holding a small orange cat. And I didn't care. It felt right. So incredibly right. I held him tighter, making sure it wasn't too tight though. "I want to just hold you, even if it has to be like this. I don't care," With that said, I felt Kyo's body unstiffen and his head push up against my neck.

And he was…purring? Kyo was purring? I couldn't help it. I laughed. It was so cute, and so not like the Kyo I had remembered. I stroked his soft fur from the back of his neck down to his tail. I rubbed behind his ears, and held him tightly. Before I knew it, tears were making their way down my cheeks yet again. I had only held Kyo once in my arms. The day I had seen his true transformation. And even then it wasn't like how it was now. I could feel his small heart beat on my chest. The rumbling from his chest from his smooth, adorable purrs. And he his head smashed against my neck in a way that you'd think would be uncomfortable, yet it wasn't. At all. I have no idea how long we stayed like this. Sitting in my doorway, silently just enjoying each other's presence.

I finally moved when I could no longer feel my legs. I pulled him slowly away from my body, and looked at him. If a cat could smile, I'd swear that's what he was doing at the moment. I smiled back, and then leaned my head down, kissing him right in between his small little ears. With now wide eyes, Kyo wiggled his way out of my grasp, and walked into my apartment. I watched him and he took one quick look around, then looked back at me. I could see his small little red eyes asking me to follow him. So I did.

I grabbed his cloth off the floor outside, and then entered my apartment. "I'm going to place this on the couch and go into my room," I smiled quickly before dropping his cloth on the couch and heading to my room. "When you're back in your human form, please just call for me."

He nodded his adorable orange head, and then jumped up onto my couch.

The moment I got into my room, a giant wave of relief hit me. Why was I so afraid of Kyo trying to pull away from me when I hugged him?

I got lost in my thoughts and didn't realize when Kyo knocked on the door frame of my door. I turned around to see him leaning against the frame of the door, his arms crossed over his chest and a small smile taking shape of his lips. I stared at him for a split second, before I did something I never thought I'd ever be able to do with Kyo. I ushered him into my room.

Immediately I could see the look of shock written all over his face. Was it really that different of something I would normally do? It's not like this was the first time he'd ever been in my room. Him and Yuki were constantly always in my room when we lived at Shigure's. Especially when I was sick. I could almost one hundred percent guarantee Kyo would be in my room, with something he would make for me.

"I…" he cleared his throat and ran his thin fingers through his hair. Was Kyo Sohma nervouse? I suppressed a smile. "running away…I'm sorry. I just…I didn't know if you really remember or not. If…if seeing me like that would be bad because you didn't remember." He was facing me now, his face full of pain. Like something he was thinking about pained him. "Then I saw the look in your eyes…and…the last memory I have of us being together flashed within my mind and I just couldn't…I had to run. And just keep running until I couldn't breathe any longer and my legs were numb. I had to run to free my mind because if not…I just…" I could see his body shacking. His hands were clenched into fists.

"Stop, please. Kyo its fine. It wasn't your fault. Please…I just," I inhaled deeply and looked down at my hands. I hadn't even realized it, but I was fiddling my with my own fingers. I guess I was nervous as well. "How is everyone? Do you know?" I blurted it out before remembering that Kyo had been banned from ever seeing any of the Sohma's ever again. I went to go apologize, but stopped when I saw the look on Kyo's face. "Erm…" I got even more nervous.

"Shigure is doing great," Shigure? Did Shigure sneak visits to Kyo? "So is Kazuma,"

"You still talk to Kazuma? And Shigure?" My excitement was more than noticeable. "Oh Kyo-kun that's greats!"

"Ha…I guess. I'm not allowed to talk to them still…or any other Sohma for that matter. But Kazuma…I couldn't not ever talk to him again. After all, he's my father isnt he?" He still held his smile, and I couldn't help but smile right back at him. "Shigure…" his smile dropped. "Shigure would like to see you,"

My heart stopped pounding for a split second. Shigure…wanted to see me? Did he know I remembered everything? Or did he just want to see me because he missed me? I didn't understand.

"I ran there today…without even realizing where I was running to. And within time, I winded up at his house. I don't know why, really…maybe comfort?" Kyo must've told Shigure then. "And, I told him. I couldn't help it. Someone had to know." Bingo. "Everyone…especially Momji and Kisa have missed you so incredibly much Tohru…Shigure was telling me how everything…" he stopped. I could tell he was debating on telling me more or stopping there.

"Could…could I see him? Yuki-kun…what about Yuki? Does he still live there?"

Kyo shook his head. "Shigure said he left not much longer after everything happened…"

We were sitting on my bed now, and I was very aware that Kyo was only a few inches away from me. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. "I'm afraid Kyo…" I felt him move a little, but not much. "What if…what if Akito finds out? I can't…I don't want to go through that again…"

"He won't find out, Tohru. The only ones who know are me and Shigure. Shigure won't tell him. I know he won't."

I lifted my head quickly and looked at Kyo. "So…I can't see anyone then? No one else is allowed to know then?" I should've seen this coming. I should've known this was what was going to happen. I was foolish for thinking I would be able to see the other Sohma's. But I couldn't help but hope, could I? I felt tears coming yet again. I didn't even understand how someone could cry so much within one day. "Of course not…that was a stupid question…" I bit my bottom lip.

"Tohru…" Kyo's voice was kind and soothing. "I'm sorry…you know why you cant see anyone, though right?"

I nodded my head yes, but the thought in my head wasn't the same. No, I didn't know why I couldn't see anyone. Was it because of Akito? Was it because no one would care to see me after three years now? They wouldn't be so naïve as to tell Akito that I remembered everything, would they? No…they couldn't be.

I don't know how long we sat there, both of us in complete silence. But it felt like hours. My room dropped down to a nice chill, and I could hear rain softly hitting the roof of my apartment. I was fighting back tears for so long now, my eyes burned beyond belief. I tasted blood on my bottom lip from where I had been slowly chewing away the soft layer of skin. Was it okay just being able to Kyo? Of course it was…right? I loved Kyo. Even after three years of never having a single memory of him, I could still feel in my heart that the love I had for him never actually left. It was insane, actually. To think that such a strong feeling that I hadn't felt for anyone within three years could come rushing back within a matter of seconds.

Did he know how much I still loved him? Did he feel the same way about me? I sighed mentally, and sneaked a peek over at him. He was staring at me, his eyes big and…beautiful. I turned my face completely to him now, and tried to smile. It faltered, I felt it.

Sitting here with him, right now, felt like the best thing that had happened to me in the longest time. Even with the thought of Sage gnawing at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think how badly I wanted to touch Kyo. Run my fingers along his thin, handsome face. How badly I wanted to know what his radiant orange hair would feel like if I ran it through my fingers. Would it be soft and thick? Or course and thin? I let my eyes wonder his face, body; everything. I was well aware of him watching me, and yet I didn't feel embarrassed.

A slight chill went through my body, and without realizing what I was doing I leaned myself forward. Our eyes met for a split second, and then without warning I felt Kyo smash his lips against mine; hard.

* * *

**Authors Note: I'm sooo sorry for the long wait on this! . Fiance's birthday, exams for college ., holidays! Ugh, been so busy. **

**So I'm really sorry for this update. I really hope you guys like it! :D I tried a little harder on this chapter, but it was also a little rushed so I could just get it in already! D: I hope you guys enjoy!  
Please, read and review! thanks a bunch!  
**


	5. Forget

**Chapter 5: Forget**

I didn't need to think about what I was about to do. My body reacted before the thought was even in my mind. My hands did something that had always wanted to do. They were tangling themselves in Kyo's thick, soft hair.

Nothing else on our bodies were touching. Just our lips and my hands in his hair. Kissing Kyo had to be the most incredible thing I could ever remember feeling.

And then just as fast as it had happened, it ended. A sigh of aggravation escaped past my now numbing lips, followed by a small laugh of humor from Kyo. "I…" he was short of breath, I could hear it. "I didn't think I'd...ahem…" he had cleared his throat. Was Kyo Sohma…nervous? I giggled silently at the thought. How cute. "That I would stay…like this," His hands gestured at his still human form.

I smiled. I couldn't help it. To be honest, the moment his lips hit mine I was expecting him to be my favorite little orange kitty. I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe it either," my voice was steady. A lot calmer then I had expected it to be when I spoke. I didn't feel as nervous as Kyo seemed either. Maybe it was because I had been used to kissing Sage? Oh god Sage… The thought came, hard. The feeling of betrayal hit me like a semi-truck. I just…Oh no…oh no, oh no, oh NO! Poor Sage! Panic was beginning to build up. I needed to calm myself down.

"Tohru," Kyo's hand covered mine. "Are you okay? Did I…did I do it wrong?"

I locked eyes with Kyo. "Was that…erm…" I bit my bottom lip. "Your first kiss?"

He didn't have to answer. I could see from the look on his face that my answer would be 'yes'. I would have thought that was absolutely adorable, to be honest. If Sage wasn't taking up my every last little thought. I wasn't even enjoying the kiss anymore. I was now wishing the kiss had never happened. What was I thinking? How could I have kissed him back? I was with Sage! Sage, the boy I had been with for six months now, the boy I knew I did truly care for. Sage…the man who had treated me like I were a princess.

I was up and on my feet quicker than a cat could have done it. "GO!" It was a demand. A harsh, shouted demand.

"wha-?"

"GET OUT!" I felt the tears about to come. What was I doing? This was just my fault as much as Kyos. "GO KYO! GET OUT! NOW!" Why was I so angry all of a sudden?

"Tohru…What…please don't make me go…"

"You shouldn't have kissed me!" I was right. I know I was. He shouldn't have kissed me. But even thought I knew it was wrong, I couldn't help but think of how right it felt. My hands were now clenched into tight fists. I could see Kyo sitting on the bed, as stiff as a board. He was confused. I knew he was. Did he forget about Sage all together? Did he forget I had a boyfriend? "You need to go, Kyo-kun…"

"Kyo-kun?" He was standing in front of my now, his face red with anger. "Now I'm Kyo-kun again?! You kissed me BACK!"

I was surprised when his voice rose to a shout. His face stayed red with anger. I could feel my cheeks begin to heat up. I didn't know if it was from anger or embarrassment. He was right. And for some reason, him being right was only making it worse. I didn't want him to be right. I wanted him to be wrong. I wanted him to be wrong and to be gone. And I wanted for this kiss to have never happened. It was going to ruin everything now.

"You need to go…" I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could. I knew I was going to cry, and I was trying my hardest to fight it back. The last thing I wanted to do right in front of him was cry. Again. "Go. Now."

"No,"

"Excuse me?" I was about to be enraged. I met eyes with him again. And this time I felt hatred. While he looked back at me with hurt and confused eyes, I stared with hate. Could he feel it? Why, why was I feeling hate towards him? I was so confused. Nothing was making sense right now. But I knew what I was feeling. And I knew what was about to come if he didn't just get out and leave like I was asking. "This is MY apartment. You must leave if I tell you to leave, Kyo-kun." My voice was so harsh it almost threw my aback a little.

Kyo winced, but stayed where he was. "No,"

He took a step towards me. Without warning, I shoved him backwards as hard as I could. His leg hit the very corner of my bed, and he stumbled for a second before landing completely backwards onto his back. My heart sunk. Hurt crossed his face faster then I could process what exactly had just happened.

"Kyo…I'm sorry I didn't…" The tears finally came. "I didn't mean to do that!" He was getting back to his feet now. I wanted to die. He looked as if he was going to cry. Had I truly hurt him that bad? "Just go! Please…please just LEAVE!" I was going to be chocking on my words really soon if I had to talk anymore. He needed to just leave.

"Tohru, please don't cry…"

Are you kidding me? I was the one who had just pushed him across my room, and caused his to fall flat on his back and he was worried about me? Was this really happened right now? I couldn't understand how anyone would want to be near a person after they had done something like that to them. What was wrong with him?

"KYO GET OUT NOW!" I was about to be devastated, and I refused to let him see me like that.

"NO!" He was looking down at the floor now, his hair handing over his eyes. I couldn't see if he was crying or not. But his body was shacking violently. "No…I…I love you, Tohru. Three years…three miserable years…" He paused for a moment. He was stumbling over his own words. "I never thought…never imagined that I'd see you again. I forced myself to finally come to the terms that you would never have a thought about me ever again. Do you have any idea how hard its been for me? I even went out; put myself out there. Met other girls. But it never worked. Ever. You would always pop up into my mind. I didn't want any other girl to ever know what I was. I never wanted any other girl to ever except me for what I was. Why?" I could see the tears hitting my floor now. I was shocked. I couldn't believe Kyo was crying. "Because you were the first one to ever except me for what I was. You were the first outsider who never looked at me like I was a monster. There was always a smile from you. Always a laugh. Always a helping hand. Never a second thought. Never a bad thought. You stood next to me as if I were a normal human. I loved someone other than Sensei for the first time in my life. And I didn't want to let that go, Tohru! You showed me trust, and friendship…and love…" There was a pause. He was staring at me now, His ruby red eyes looked as if they were glowing. I could see around his eyes becoming swollen.

And then I knew. This…us…me and Kyo; it would never be. Never could be. Akito would find out. I know she would. She always found out everything. I couldn't be with Kyo. No matter how badly I knew I wanted to be. All that would happen again would be another memory erase. Whether Akito chose it to be me or Kyo…one of us would be forced to forget the other again. It would be a never ending chain. Akito would do anything she possibly could to hurt us. To hurt Kyo. And I wasn't going to let that happen. I stared at his beautiful face. I knew what I had to do. I loved him. And I was going to protect him with everything I could possibly do. I let the tears fall from my face. I didn't even try to fight them anymore. It was pointless. This was going to destroy the both of us, but it had to be done.

"Kyo…"

A look of hope took hold of his face when he heard the softness in my voice. And at that very moment, I just wanted to die.

"Kyo…" The tears came faster; harder. I didn't even know if he was going to be able to understand me at this point. "I never wanted to remember any of this. Ever. If I could go back to the day I moved in here, I would. And I would make sure I left." He was hurt so bad. I could see it. I was horrible. I was cruel. I was disgusting. "I love Sage, Kyo. Not you. I…" Was I going to be able to get this out? "I want to forget all of this." I got it out. Between my chocks and sobs, I managed to get it out. And I managed to make it sound so true. Horrible, cruel, disgusting. I didn't deserve to ever remember Kyo.

"N-"…He couldn't even finish.

"I want to forget all of this, Kyo…"

* * *

** Authors Note:**Er...So...I don't know if any of you are mad at me for not updating in so long...but I'm sorry :( Busy...very very busy. I'm going to try my hardest to update now that I'm settled into my new home (: I really do hope this chapter is enjoyable. It's been a while since I've written anything. I feel rusty :P Well, i hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry if there is a lot of grammar mistakes as well. Typed this at 2 in the morning :( ENJOY! 3


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